I had arranged with Tanya and Jojo (some English girls that were friends with Raj) to go with them to a residential school in a part of Bangalore called ‘The Dairy Circle’ and just spend time with the children/young people for a couple of hours. This school was a government run organisation and catered for around 60 young people all with some kind of mental disability.
The girls had told me that they had visited this school only once before with a team of about 8 people; some from England, some from India with a mix of male and female. We had discussed about what they had experienced and seen at the school in their previous visit and, to be honest, they painted a pretty bleak picture about the conditions. The images that they placed in my mind were like something that you would expect to see on a ‘panorama documentary’. For example, ‘half naked boys, playing around in their own faeces with their clothes soiled by urine, semen and excrement.’ So in my mind, before arriving at the school I tried to mentally prepare myself to see some absolutely dire human conditions. I have to admit I was feeling very nervous about the whole visit as I didn’t really know why I was there, what I should be doing or how I could help.
Before going onto the premises, I met a guy called Pete (from England) and his wife Becky (from the U.S.) and talked to them briefly about my trip to India and about youth work and other things. It took my mind briefly off where I was and what I was about to be exposed to. I’m sorry if I’m making it sound over-dramatic, but I really feel I have to honest about my thoughts and experiences.
Entering the complex through a locked gate, we walked around an inner courtyard where we could see what looked like outdoor showers and toilets, a facility to dry clothes on and some open ground that comprised of just dirt and weeds. Eventually, after passing some offices and placing our bags and balloons inside, we came to a room where there were about 40 kids inside. This room was very small and the kids were all sat on the floor in rows wearing a mixture of attire; some in what seemed to be the normal dress of blue shorts and blue shirt, and some in just long brown t-shirts that covered their under regions. It was very obvious from just looking at most of the kids that they had some sort of mental disability. I also became aware, from closer contact, that many of the kids had sores, bruises, cuts and burns over their bodies. I was later informed that this may have been the case because of unhygienic conditions and diseases but also because of abuse from staff members and other kids in the school.
Becky asked one of the staff members if we could play with the kids in the bigger room just round the corner. After much argument, we were allowed to move the kids into the bigger room to do a drawing and colouring session with them. The sense of excitement in some of their faces that someone had come to visit them to break their normal routine was very prevalent, however a lot of the older ones were just confused about what was going on or just not bothered at all. We spread out lots of sheets of blank paper and passed out crayons and started helping the kids draw. Many of them just didn’t know how to draw because they have never had the opportunity and some were unable because of their disability. Everyone sat on the floor as we helped them colour and draw.
I found the smell of the place absolutely appalling; being very similar to the smell of the local sewers next to Raj’s house, but just contained within one room. I had to just ignore this however and block out any feelings of discomfort to be a part of what they were doing. In this instance it was colouring, however, often some of the kids would touch me and just want to shake my hand or want to sit on my lap. Brief thoughts of, ‘well actually I don’t want to be touched by you because you’ve probably not washed your hands for weeks’ had to be put aside. All these kids wanted was some attention and someone to care and if, as a Christian, I was too worried about becoming unclean to do this, then who would be willing? I had to put all my feelings and concerns aside and just get one with playing with these kids like I would any other kids.
During the colouring session, there was one older lad I noticed who just sitting in the corner masturbating. Jojo had warned me that a lot of the kids do this because there is nothing else to do and they don’t know any better, but still it was a little shocking to see. Just as I was thinking about it and what to do; ‘should I go over and talk to him or go and give him some crayons?’ Pete went over to him with a big piece of paper and said, ‘Why don’t you do some drawing like everyone else? It’s much better than masturbating.’ I felt I little sense of shame and asked myself the question, ‘Why didn’t you just go over instead of considering it?’ I had missed an opportunity to try and connect with this guy because I let my inhibitions get the better of me.
After the colouring session we took everyone outside into the patch of open ground and gave them loads of balloons and balls to play with. Many of them became fascinated by the balloons and became very possessive as we didn’t have enough for one each. A lot of the kids wanted to be picked up and held especially this one little guy who had no bottoms on and a very dirty and smelly shirt. I had to just ignore these facts and pick him up. As I picked him up he clung on to me like some kind of koala, getting such comfort in the fact that someone had their arms around him. However when I wanted to put him down again I found it difficult as he just wouldn’t let go. He would then follow me around, grab my arms and try to scale me (he was a really good climber) and if I didn’t pick him up then he would bite me. This really hurt, so more often than not I picked him up and carried him around with me. I was then told by Pete and his wife that this particular kid had just had a heart operation and the staff had advised not to pick him up. So I had a dilemma; I wasn’t supposed to pick him up and if I didn’t he would bite me and follow me around. Also there were other kids that wanted attention and wanted to be played with. I still have bruised from this kid’s bites and I’m really glad he didn’t break skin because as Tanya says, ‘Who knows what kinds of diseases these kids have got.’ This may seem a harsh statement but unfortunately this is the sad reality of it.
After different simple games like throwing and catching the ball, making different noises with balloons and some clapping and singing, it was time to have lunch. It was a real struggle to calm them down from all the exciting and new things we had been doing with them and we had to get them all sitting down against the wall in a corridor. The lunch wasn’t much at all; rice, dhal, some sort of wheat and a glass of water served from dirty plates and cups. As there were only 4 staff members (1 male, 3 female) for 60+ children, we helped serve the food to speed things up a bit. During lunch we found that a lot of the older children stole food from the younger children and it was a job for us to try and stop this from happening. Also children stole from the ones who had the severest disabilities because they weren’t able to stop them stealing the food. This was sad to see, as it really had become survival of the fittest to the extreme.
We left shortly after their lunchtime and convened outside the complex for a short de-brief of our thoughts and feelings and any questions we might have. This also included a passing around of hand sanitizer. After leaving Jojo was asking me what I felt about the place and to be honest I didn’t really know what to feel. I had never experienced anything like it in my life. It seemed like a totally hopeless situation; it was government funded and because the government was so corrupt it meant that it hardly got any funds; they whole place was seriously understaffed and because the staff had no passion for the job they kept leaving; the conditions of human living were the worst I have ever seen, literally having no hygiene or luxuries at all; and I was left with the feelings ‘What on earth am I supposed to do about this? Is there anything I can do about this?’
Unfortunately I didn’t have time to go for lunch with the rest of the team as I had to meet the BBC Teens and help them practice for Sunday’s worship. Catching an auto back home, the smell of the place was imbedded in my clothes and still stuck in my nostrils, and the images of these desperate kids living in such terrible conditions wouldn’t leave my mind. When I got home I had to throw my clothes to wash and take a long shower...
The girls had told me that they had visited this school only once before with a team of about 8 people; some from England, some from India with a mix of male and female. We had discussed about what they had experienced and seen at the school in their previous visit and, to be honest, they painted a pretty bleak picture about the conditions. The images that they placed in my mind were like something that you would expect to see on a ‘panorama documentary’. For example, ‘half naked boys, playing around in their own faeces with their clothes soiled by urine, semen and excrement.’ So in my mind, before arriving at the school I tried to mentally prepare myself to see some absolutely dire human conditions. I have to admit I was feeling very nervous about the whole visit as I didn’t really know why I was there, what I should be doing or how I could help.
Before going onto the premises, I met a guy called Pete (from England) and his wife Becky (from the U.S.) and talked to them briefly about my trip to India and about youth work and other things. It took my mind briefly off where I was and what I was about to be exposed to. I’m sorry if I’m making it sound over-dramatic, but I really feel I have to honest about my thoughts and experiences.
Entering the complex through a locked gate, we walked around an inner courtyard where we could see what looked like outdoor showers and toilets, a facility to dry clothes on and some open ground that comprised of just dirt and weeds. Eventually, after passing some offices and placing our bags and balloons inside, we came to a room where there were about 40 kids inside. This room was very small and the kids were all sat on the floor in rows wearing a mixture of attire; some in what seemed to be the normal dress of blue shorts and blue shirt, and some in just long brown t-shirts that covered their under regions. It was very obvious from just looking at most of the kids that they had some sort of mental disability. I also became aware, from closer contact, that many of the kids had sores, bruises, cuts and burns over their bodies. I was later informed that this may have been the case because of unhygienic conditions and diseases but also because of abuse from staff members and other kids in the school.
Becky asked one of the staff members if we could play with the kids in the bigger room just round the corner. After much argument, we were allowed to move the kids into the bigger room to do a drawing and colouring session with them. The sense of excitement in some of their faces that someone had come to visit them to break their normal routine was very prevalent, however a lot of the older ones were just confused about what was going on or just not bothered at all. We spread out lots of sheets of blank paper and passed out crayons and started helping the kids draw. Many of them just didn’t know how to draw because they have never had the opportunity and some were unable because of their disability. Everyone sat on the floor as we helped them colour and draw.
I found the smell of the place absolutely appalling; being very similar to the smell of the local sewers next to Raj’s house, but just contained within one room. I had to just ignore this however and block out any feelings of discomfort to be a part of what they were doing. In this instance it was colouring, however, often some of the kids would touch me and just want to shake my hand or want to sit on my lap. Brief thoughts of, ‘well actually I don’t want to be touched by you because you’ve probably not washed your hands for weeks’ had to be put aside. All these kids wanted was some attention and someone to care and if, as a Christian, I was too worried about becoming unclean to do this, then who would be willing? I had to put all my feelings and concerns aside and just get one with playing with these kids like I would any other kids.
During the colouring session, there was one older lad I noticed who just sitting in the corner masturbating. Jojo had warned me that a lot of the kids do this because there is nothing else to do and they don’t know any better, but still it was a little shocking to see. Just as I was thinking about it and what to do; ‘should I go over and talk to him or go and give him some crayons?’ Pete went over to him with a big piece of paper and said, ‘Why don’t you do some drawing like everyone else? It’s much better than masturbating.’ I felt I little sense of shame and asked myself the question, ‘Why didn’t you just go over instead of considering it?’ I had missed an opportunity to try and connect with this guy because I let my inhibitions get the better of me.
After the colouring session we took everyone outside into the patch of open ground and gave them loads of balloons and balls to play with. Many of them became fascinated by the balloons and became very possessive as we didn’t have enough for one each. A lot of the kids wanted to be picked up and held especially this one little guy who had no bottoms on and a very dirty and smelly shirt. I had to just ignore these facts and pick him up. As I picked him up he clung on to me like some kind of koala, getting such comfort in the fact that someone had their arms around him. However when I wanted to put him down again I found it difficult as he just wouldn’t let go. He would then follow me around, grab my arms and try to scale me (he was a really good climber) and if I didn’t pick him up then he would bite me. This really hurt, so more often than not I picked him up and carried him around with me. I was then told by Pete and his wife that this particular kid had just had a heart operation and the staff had advised not to pick him up. So I had a dilemma; I wasn’t supposed to pick him up and if I didn’t he would bite me and follow me around. Also there were other kids that wanted attention and wanted to be played with. I still have bruised from this kid’s bites and I’m really glad he didn’t break skin because as Tanya says, ‘Who knows what kinds of diseases these kids have got.’ This may seem a harsh statement but unfortunately this is the sad reality of it.
After different simple games like throwing and catching the ball, making different noises with balloons and some clapping and singing, it was time to have lunch. It was a real struggle to calm them down from all the exciting and new things we had been doing with them and we had to get them all sitting down against the wall in a corridor. The lunch wasn’t much at all; rice, dhal, some sort of wheat and a glass of water served from dirty plates and cups. As there were only 4 staff members (1 male, 3 female) for 60+ children, we helped serve the food to speed things up a bit. During lunch we found that a lot of the older children stole food from the younger children and it was a job for us to try and stop this from happening. Also children stole from the ones who had the severest disabilities because they weren’t able to stop them stealing the food. This was sad to see, as it really had become survival of the fittest to the extreme.
We left shortly after their lunchtime and convened outside the complex for a short de-brief of our thoughts and feelings and any questions we might have. This also included a passing around of hand sanitizer. After leaving Jojo was asking me what I felt about the place and to be honest I didn’t really know what to feel. I had never experienced anything like it in my life. It seemed like a totally hopeless situation; it was government funded and because the government was so corrupt it meant that it hardly got any funds; they whole place was seriously understaffed and because the staff had no passion for the job they kept leaving; the conditions of human living were the worst I have ever seen, literally having no hygiene or luxuries at all; and I was left with the feelings ‘What on earth am I supposed to do about this? Is there anything I can do about this?’
Unfortunately I didn’t have time to go for lunch with the rest of the team as I had to meet the BBC Teens and help them practice for Sunday’s worship. Catching an auto back home, the smell of the place was imbedded in my clothes and still stuck in my nostrils, and the images of these desperate kids living in such terrible conditions wouldn’t leave my mind. When I got home I had to throw my clothes to wash and take a long shower...
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